Tip Top

Someone recently asked if I had overcome my tipping habit. I was thisclose to launching into a tirade about how not all of Pennsylvania is farmland and how I've never tipped a cow. Then he clarified: "You know, a gratuity?" (Oops. I've heard too many Amish jokes.) Tipping is not customary in New Zealand.

It's true that it was difficult to overcome this habit. In fact, I may have offended the man who delivered my bed by offering him a tip. On the other hand, a cab driver seemed overjoyed by my small tip. Then I felt like a sucker. The lack of tipping is most noticeable in restaurants, but the payment circumstances make it difficult to tip. Even in nice restaurants, you're usually expected to walk up to the the counter/bar to pay when you're done your meal. (There were some looong waits for the bill before I caught on to this practice.) It would be strange to go back to the table with a tip, and there is no space to add a tip on credit card slips.

I've now become so accustomed not tipping that I will probably be an accidental cheapskate upon my return to the US.

Stop and Smell the Roses

What a difference a few months make! Compare Wellington's Lady Norwood Rose Garden in the monsoon that was August versus the gloriousness that is December.

My smile in the August photo is totally fake, by the way. I was miserable.

Newsflash, Part XXII

I think the Dominion Post reporters read N to the Zed for story ideas. The coincidences are becoming eerie. I just told you about the immense popularity of text messaging in NZ. This article debates the time-saving benefits of text language.

When I took my car to the mechanic this morning*, the registration sheet prompted me to select my preferred method of contact. I circled "text message." When in Rome...

* Not to worry - my trusty Integra is fine. It just needs a check-up before it becomes my main source shelter next month.

Hang the Mistletoe!

You might wake up with more than a hangover this holiday season! 49% of Kiwis would like to hook up with a co-worker at their office Christmas party. Despite the survey's small sample size and the questionable motives of its sponsor (a condom manufacturer), I am still inclined to believe this statistic. Didn't I tell you my department's beach party was cuh-razy? Take my word for it.

The season of giving, and receiving (!), continues. The holiday party for the entire office will be held this Friday evening. The venue isn't as impressive (office building vs. beach), but I'm sure the antics will remain entertaining. A strongly-worded memo was sent to all managers to stress that the party is for staff only. Ex-employees and spouses are banned because they seem to have caused a ruckus in years past. However, an exception was made for one and only one person... yours truly! (My contract ended last week.) The Kiwis love me. And let's be honest... when have I ever been known to cause a ruckus?

Beached As

This viral video is making its way around New Zealand. Some Australians put the video together to mock the NZ accent and slang. Many Kiwis think this is very funny, but I do not find it the least bit entertaining. I bet you can't wait to watch it after that ringing endorsement!

Note: Kiwis use the word "bro" a lot.

Botany

Here are some more of those famous koru ferns, along with a New Zealand plant called the "creeping lawyer." Haha. Sorry, lawyer friends! Don't kill the messenger.

Airport Beach

The Wellington airport is located pretty much directly on the beach. You can almost reach out and touch the planes. The one and only runway extends into the water.

This bottom left corner of this sign tells me the slogan for the Wellington airport is "Wild at Heart." Does anyone else see problem with this? Where are we... Bangkok?! I like my airports to be the opposite of wild - regimented, scheduled, German.

SPF

Three cheers for December in New Zealand! Tank tops! Convertibles! Beaches! Daylight until 9pm! I thought the day would never come.

This weekend, I learned the hard way that NZ has the highest UV ratings in the world due to the lack of ozone. I then paid $18 for a small bottle of sunscreen (on sale from $25). I will pay any price to remain wrinkle free.

Newsflash, Part XXI

The 6th most googled topic in New Zealand in 2008 was (drumroll please)... the word "google." Oh Kiwis, you kill me.

Eyes Peeled

I cannot wait to see my first New Zealand penguin!!

(Kia Tupato is Maori for "be careful." Not sure about the bottom line - probably "Silly American, leave the penguins alone.")

Party People

My department had an early Christmas party on Friday at Paekakariki Beach, 45 minutes north of Wellington on the Kapiti Coast. It was a beautiful day! For entertainment purposes, there was beach cricket and IRB boat rides. This is basically an inflatable speed boat that fits 2 people. It was very fast and very fun.

There was plenty of entertainment even without those activities. Remember that a normal Friday at work involves 2-3 hours of drinking... then try to imagine what these Kiwis do at a legitimate "party." It did not disappoint! I've been to some parties in my day, and this one ranked right up there.

The festivities began at 1:00pm. Maybe 3 people took the free shuttle van back to the city at 7pm. The rest of us had to fend for ourselves by taking a train home the next day. When I called it a night at 2:00am, some people were still going strong. In the morning, I found someone asleep on the couch in swimming trunks and a cowboy hat.

Let me put it this way -- the accidental revelation that I have been secretly dating a co-worker (now you know too) was barely a blip on the radar screen. What would normally be juicy office gossip paled in comparison to other events. These events included karaoke, salsa dancing, crying, kissing, physical violence, many lost belongings, etc. There was a barbecue fire that melted the knobs off the grill. Don't ask me how some of these people are going to show their faces on Monday morning. I'm embarrassed for them.

I'm proud to report that I was well-behaved and uninvolved in the drama. However, I did suffer a nasty party injury. Someone's dog stole a bottle of Advil from my purse. After chasing him into a corner, I made my move to retrieve the bottle from his mouth. Instead, I came away with a bitten hand and jammed finger. I decided to let that stupid dog keep the Advil, and I don't care if he OD'ed. All I want for Christmas is to be rabies-free.

Elusive young Kiwi male - rear view, hands full