Scotland, NZ

This Thursday, people started asking whether I would attend NOSH on Friday. I assumed this was some type of important meeting. Wrong. National Office Social Hour.

Last weeks' Drinkie Friday was only for my department; NOSH is a fortnightly event for the whole office. Departments take turns planning the NOSH and selecting a theme. Yes, it is a theme party! This week was "Scotland." At 3:45pm, people began sneaking off to the bathroom to change into kilts and tartan scarves. We moved down to the large 7th floor conference room at 4pm.

I wish you could have been there, dear readers! This is as close as I will ever get to a Dunder-Mifflin office party. The conference room houses a true bar. Drinks are $3 (a real bar charges ~$7), or you can buy a laminated hole-punch NOSH card that gets you 10 drinks for $25. The concept is similar to Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickels.

Rugby jerseys hung from a makeshift clothesline. Tea towels and various other pictures of Scotland were taped to the windows. The walls were plastered with low-resolution photos of famous Scots, such as Annie Lennox, Billy Connelly and... Ronald McDonald. (Isn't he a red-blooded American??) Fat Bastard was conspicuously absent from this collage, so I've pictured him here. There was a 2 page print-out of Scottish facts. Someone had circled a "fact" about the coat of arms and handwritten "WRONG" across the page. That was all the entertainment I needed, but then the bagpiper showed up! And the haggis was presented! And the winner of the costume contest was awarded a bottle of Scottish whiskey!

Everyone is pretty loose at these official work functions; no boundaries between work life/social life. Someone spilled red wine on my white purse. Also, they wouldn't know an inappropriate comment if walked right up and stroked their arm. I surely have grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit, if only their New Zealand dollars were worth something.

The Kiwis stormed the bar when NOSH announced last call at 7pm. As if there aren't 50 places within walking distance that will be open until 5am...