Prison Mike

I recently found myself at the Chiang Mai Women's Correctional Institute. Don't get too excited; it's not for the reasons you might imagine. I went for a massage! Strange but true!

A bit of background info - massage parlors are ubiquitous in Thailand. I'm talking about legitimate massages, not that "happy ending" nonsense. Thais believe that massages are part of routine health maintenance, like a dental check-up*. It's not like the US, where we think of a massage as a fancy way to relax. Having said that, however, many of the Thai parlors are sprucing themselves up to produce a more spa-like atmosphere to appeal to Western tourists.

The point of the prison spa is to rehabilitate the inmates and teach them a skill that can be put to use in the real world. The women are within 6 months of their release date and get to keep the earnings. They are all young and pretty. This leads me to believe that they were prostitutes, but prostitution is so blatant here that you'd have to beg a cop to arrest you. (Walk around the streets after 7pm and you'll understand what I'm saying.) Drugs maybe? They have very strict laws about that stuff here. The guide books basically say: "Think it's no big deal to smoke a joint at a beach party? You might spend the rest of your life in jail."

But I digress... back to the massage. Thai massage has been described as having someone perform yoga on you. That's pretty accurate. It's a full contact sport and it hurts! At one point, the woman wound up and punched me in the thigh. It ended with a slap on the back. Of course it feels good too. Kind of like you just completed a work-out, but without any of the sweating and exertion. For $6/hr, it is the perfect way to end a long day on your feet.

* Also strange but true - I've read that Thailand is known for its high-quality affordable dentistry, including cosmetic procedures. Who woulda guessed? I'm tempted to get a new set of chompers.

Temple Mania

There are well over 300 temples within the Chiang Mai city limits. I spent hours walking around and visiting temples yesterday, and I saw maybe 10. In 95+ degree heat, you are crazy if you try to do more. Sick of water, I chugged 2 bottles of sprite in 5 seconds flat. (BTW, I love that soda is served in the old-fashioned tall glass bottles.) As beautiful as the temples are (and they are very beautiful), they all start to look the same after a while.

On my way to the first temple, I realized that I forgot to put my cardigan in my bag. Easy mistake to make in the blistering heat. I was worried I wouldn't be allowed in the temples in my tank top. Everything I've read says that you must be dressed modestly, and I remember that I wasn't allowed in a Japanese temple in a sleeveless shirt a few years ago. I don't know if the farang (Thai for foreigners) are especially disrespectful, or if the rules have changed, but I looked like a pilgrim compared to most of the temple visitors. I purposely wore below-the-knee capri pants, but many people were in their daisy dukes.

While I'm on the subject of pants, I'll confess that I'm considering buying a pair of those giant balloon-style gaucho coulott (sp?) pants. It will cost about $4. They look ridiculous, but they are very popular here and I now understand why. It is way too hot to wear anything remotely tight. You want something lightweight and flowy. I only packed one pair of shorts, but damn if I am going to wear anything denim in 100 degrees.

This is what $12 gets you in Chiang Mai

In One End, Out the Other

It seems that some of my recent blog posts have left you concerned, dear readers. Fear not. I definitely have a case of culture shock, but I'm doing just fine. Or I will be fine. So far Chiang Mai is a bit more tame than Bangkok.

My good friend Kristen told me she saw some kids on the street holding up a sign that said "traveling and hungry." She thought of me and gave them money. Isn't she sweet?! This is the same girl who gave me a harmonica as a going-away present when I left NY. The harmonica was to be my Plan B. If money runs low, blow. Luckily, I haven't had to resort to busking, but it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received :)

I'm sure I face many more challenges in Thailand, but hunger will not be one of them. Food is ridiculously cheap here. It is most economical to buy your food from the countless street vendors. It also happens to the be the best food. It has the freshest ingredients and it is cooked right in front of you. I've been lucky enough to find non-spicy options; that was my biggest concern. The fresh fruit is really good too... just make sure you get something that is peeled. I got a big bag of pineapple for 80 cents yesterday. Bottled water, a necessity, costs a measly 10 cents.

I'm still adapting to the practice of street eating (streating?). I wish you could sit on the curb, but no one seems to do this and curb space is at a premium. Also, it feels funny just to stand there. So I stroll around eating my food with no particular destination. I have not yet mastered the art of walking/eating at the same time. I almost choked on a spring roll yesterday. I don't see anyone walking around with trash, but I don't see any trash cans either. Not sure what the deal is there. Am I the only one bringing trash home to my hotel?

Given the prevalence of streating, I would think there would be more public bathrooms. Nope. Am I the only one holding it in all day until I get home to my hotel? And the hotel situation is just as confusing. I see lots of signs saying: "Do not put tissue in toilet bowl." Then why do they provide toilet paper?! Are you supposed to put it in the trash can? Wouldn't that make the room smelly and gross? Most toilets have a little hose next to them. I think I've figured out that this is to spray yourself clean. So then is the toilet paper only for drying purposes and it's not as stinky to throw in the trash can? If you don't use the toilet paper in some capacity, your pants are going to be all wet. It's a mystery to me.

I realize the blog has become urine-obsessed lately. This is the sad state of my life. I'm not sure how it all came to this. I thought I'd been potty-trained for a good quarter-century, but there is still so much to learn.

On the Train Again

My first thought is that I didn't leave early enough to catch the train. You think a 4:30pm departure time for a 6:00pm train should be enough, right? We sat in Bangkok traffic and didn't move an inch for a solid 10 minutes. Then, out of nowhere, the cabbie cuts across 5 lines of traffic. It was as if the car was moving sideways. I got to the station as the train was boarding. It was a crush of humanity... lots of people sitting on their luggage.

I walk onto car 6 and find my seat. Seat 20 is a leather bench wide enough for 2 people. It faces seat 21, another bench wide enough for 2 people. This is supposed to be a sleeper car. I picture myself curled up in the fetal position on that bench for the next 13 hours. Hell to the no! I gathered up all my luggage and marched right off that train.

"Excuse me, I thought I reserved a sleeper car?" The woman kept saying, yes, yes. I said, "But where do I sleep?" I'm sure she thought I was an idiot, but she politely followed me onto the train and showed me what was what. Seats 20 and 21 fold together to make a bed for seat 20. The person in seat 21 has to climb up into a fold-down bed that looks like a luggage compartment. You just call the train attendant when you want to go to sleep. She's like a speed demon and can make up both beds in 5 seconds flat. So it's not as bad as I first expected, but I've obviously been spoiled by the individual sleeper cabins on the Chinese trains.

I'm immediately concerned about the woman in seat 21. She a grandmother-type traveling with 2 young girls who can't stop staring at the white lady (me). Grandma seems as confused as me about the bed situation. But that doesn't stop her from plopping down her bag, resting her feet on my seat, and eating smelly food. Also, she has the loudest cell phone ring I've ever heard. She disappears for a while and the train attendant makes up my bed. That means seat 21 no longer exists... the old lady will have to climb up into her bed. There is mass confusion when she returns. The 2 girls climb into the bed, but the woman looks upset and is talking to anyone who will listen, including 3 train staff who seem to be dressed in military uniforms.

The woman perches herself on the armrest of my bed. That is obviously uncomfortable, so I motion for her to sit on my bed. I ask the young family next to us, "Do you speak English? Does she have a bed?" I think they tried to indicate that grandma and both girls had to sleep in the top bunk together, but we weren't speaking the same language. All they wanted to know was, "Where you from?" They seemed happy to talk to me, so I don't think anyone was blaming the situation on me.

Because it is the right thing to do as a human being, I tried to indicate that I would take the top bed and let the old lady and the kids sleep on the bottom bed. However, I did this begrudingly because I paid extra for the bottom bed. If I, as a clueless farang (foreigner) can manage to buy myself the correct ticket, what is this lady's problem? In any case, they didn't understand me or didn't want the bed. When the woman finally got off my bed hour later, I quickly closed the curtain and went to sleep. I was out from about 9pm to 2am.

At about 6am, the train staff come through and start turning the beds back into bunks. I look out the window and see some of the most skeletal-looking cows. On my way to the bathroom at the end of the car, I notice grandma and the 2 girls in a bottom bunk a few rows away. Whatever... I must have missed something last night.

I reach the bathroom and find that it is a squatter toilet. Great. This is a real balancing act on a moving train. Now, there's no flush or anything, so I'm pretty sure the contents go right onto the tracks. And I'm also pretty sure you're not supposed to put toilet paper in there, but I don't realize that until after the fact. The floor is all wet... with I don't even want to know what. I go outside to the sink and thoroughly wash my hands and my feet. On my next train ride, I will wear something that offers more protection/coverage than flip-flops.

When I exit the train, I am surrounded by cabbies and tuk-tuk drivers offering to take me this place and that. There are booths for hotels all over the place. I actually recognize one of the names from my guide books, so I take a room with them and they drive me into the city. It was kind of a risky move, but the place seems fine so far, so I think it paid off. It has a pool, which will come in very handy in this horribly hot weather.

Thailand Today

The blog is now up-to-date! I'm writing about today's events instead of trying to remember what happened a week ago. My life has changed drastically in the last week.

I woke up with a renewed sense of energy. If I can handle Bangkok alone, I can do anything. I eat breakfast at the hotel and then head to an Internet cafe. I make a quick phone call home (to assure my mother I'm alive) and do a google search for "Thai coins." I have coins in my wallet with no numbers on them. What's that about? How do I know how much they are worth? It's 9am and 95 degrees.

I then head into the street where I'm immediately surrounded by people. "Miss, you need tuk-tuk? Miss, where you going?" I'm in no way concerned for my physical safety, but you have to be on guard at all times here. It's a matter of keeping your wits about you. If I look like I know what I'm doing; people will think I know what I'm doing. At least that's what I tell myself.

I get a cab to the train station and refuse the driver's offers to take me to a gem shop instead. He asks me how long I've been here. The truth is less than 24 hours, but I say a week. The longer you've been here, the less vulnerable you are to scams. He asks if I'm taking a train or going to buy a ticket. I figure there's no harm in being truthful here, so I say, "buy a ticket." I was wrong. Instead of taking me directly to the station, he drops me off at some fake ticket shop across the street from the station. Lots of cab drivers have deals to get commissions if they take their fares to certain shops/travel agents/hotels, etc. I walk to the real train station and fight my through the throng of "travel agents" offering to sell me tickets. These scams aren't hard to spot, but they're just so "in your face" and annoying. I hate thinking that I have to be suspicious of everyone and everything.

I find the legitimate govt-run ticket office in a tiny room in the back of the station. The man is surprisingly helpful. This is the first positive interaction I've had in this country. I bought a ticket, took a cab back to my hotel, packed up my stuff, checked out of the hotel, and here I am blogging.

I'm going to brave the crowds again to get some food and then I go back to the station for my 6pm train to Chiang Mai. I arrive at 7:15am tomorrow morning. Then I will walk around the city to find a hotel and hopefully I will like it enough to stay put for a few nights! This will be my 3rd overnight train ride in 6 days. My ticket specifies that I'm a "female" so I hope these sleeper cars are segregated by sex. I don't have Jim to look out for me this time!

Phew... that's all for now, dear readers. Wish me luck!!

Day 1 Disasters in Thailand

I wake up at 4:30am and sit through a 5 hour flight from Shanghai to Bangkok, Thailand. I tried to give myself a pep talk on the way there. The truth is that I'm still caught up in the whirlwind China trip and not all mentally prepared for what comes next. I'm not even sure what the Thailand time zone is. But I've done my research, I've got my Lonely Planet guide, and I have a general idea of what I want to do and where I want to go.

I get through all the customs and immigration nonsense and go to the ATM to withdraw some money. "Transaction denied. Contact your bank." I immediately realize that stupid Bank of America (with whom I have been fighting on numerous issues over the past year) froze my accounts because I used my cards in China without notifying them. OH MY GOD. WHAT THE F AM I GOING TO DO? I have NO money in my possession. I can't even get a bus out of the airport.

I don't panic... yet. I find my way to the pay phone and start calling the numbers on the back of my card. I know it will cost a fortune to charge these calls to my credit card, so I start with the "call us collect" numbers. This payphone is very difficult to use. It has a touchscreen instead of physical buttons. Some are very sensitive and some you have to pound. You know what it's like when you call the bank... the automated menu makes you punch in a million different numbers. I keep having to start over. Sometimes my call is cut off. I keep pressing "0" hoping to get an operator. They tell me customer service is closed. So then I start trying the numbers on my credit card instead of my debit card. The touchscreen is still acting up, so I try the voice option. But it can't distinguish my voice over the airport loudspeaker. I'm standing in the middle of the airport, guarding my luggage, shouting my credit card and social security number into the phone. "This is a really bad move," I tell myself. Then the Bank of America computer voice says: "It appears that you're having trouble using our automated system. Goodbye." I wanted to smash the phone receiver against my face.

But I did not give up and, in the end, my persistence paid off. AFTER 2 HOURS, I finally reached a human being. I was transferred all around and put through some intense questioning to verify my identity. These questions went all the way back to my Massachusetts days. The man assured me the problem was taken care of and I pleaded, "Are you sure? I'm going to be at an ATM 15 seconds after I hang up this phone. I'm stranded in the Bangkok airport, and if it doesn't work, I'm afraid I won't be able to reach you again." It worked.

I find a taxi and hassle #2 begins. As soon as we pull away, he starts negotiating a flat fee with me. Don't even mess with me, buddy. I'm not in the mood for this. I tell him to turn on the meter and we go back and forth, back and forth. He finally relents and I make him show me that it's on. (I've taken about 5 cabs so far, and it's the same story every time. You have to be really firm with these guys and demand that they turn on the meter or you're getting out of the car. Some agree the first time; some put up a fight. It's exhausting.) The defrost in the cab doesn't work, so he's wiping the windshield with his hand. The AC doesn't work, so the windows are opened and I'm getting rained on.

Oh yeah, and I don't even have a place to sleep tonight. I told him to take me to Khao San Rd, which is backpacker central and littered with budget hotels. Most don't take reservations. Standard practice is to show up, check them all out, bargain shop. I walk into the first one I see because it is raining and lightening and I'm carrying about 30 pounds on my back. I ask to see the room, but it's just a formality. It would have to be horrible for me to go elsewhere. The guy wants to me to leave my luggage unattended in the lobby while we view the room. "Nah, I'll carry it," I tell him. The room is not horrible, but it's not good, and I think it's overpriced at 750 baht (about $20 US). I take it anyway.

I go out for lunch/dinner and explore the place a little. It is loud and crazy. We ain't in New Zealand anymore. The streets are packed with food stalls, fruit vendors, people selling anything you can imagine, cars, taxis, scooters, and tuk-tuks (open 3 wheeled pedicab taxis). It is very common to see a motor scooter zooming down the street with a baby wedged between the parents.

I wanted to go to the train station to buy a ticket to Chiang Mai, a city in the northern part of the country. Again, I'm arguing with the cabbie about the fare. I arrive at this incredibly hot and crowded station and discover that it is the BUS station. No trains. I get in another cab. The guy clearly doesn't understand the word "train," so I just decide to go back to the hotel. I have no energy left to deal with this. Tomorrow is another day!

As I'm walking down Khao San Rd back to the hotel, music is blaring and people are drinking in the streets. It is a party atmosphere and I think it will be fun once I get my bearings. At the moment, it's just overwhelming. I stop at 7-11 to buy a bottle of water so I can brush my teeth tonight. Then I almost step on a man laying in the middle of the road smoking a cigarette. Actually, it's just a torso. The guy has no legs. He is shirtless, but strangely, he is wearing pants. Just hanging out in the middle of the street. I have no idea who put him there or how he intends to get up.

I go to bed and sleep for 9 glorious hours.

China Pictures

I included lots of pictures on the blog, but you can even more photos from China by clicking this link to visit my facebook album.

China! Day 5

Day 5

Jim leaves for the airport by noon, and I'm left to my own devices for the day. I've heard such good things about the Shanghai Museum and I truly intended to go there, but I knew that I was way too fatigued to absorb/appreciate anything it had to offer. Instead, I wandered around People's Square and Remnin Park for a few hours. I was having a hard time finding a way to cross from one side of the road to the other. Then I noticed the underground pedestrian tunnel. It turns out to be much more than a tunnel. There's an underground shopping complex!

Remnin Park seems to be the city's urban oasis... very pretty... lots of kids... lots of kites. If you have a toddler in Shanghai, this is the place to be on a Sunday afternoon. I had 2 very close calls with toddlers running into me or me running them down. I was asked to take a picture of 3 teenagers. Then they wanted to know where I was from. "Florida?" they asked. "Why are you dressed for summer?" It was about 70 degrees and I was wearing a dress with a cardigan and flip-flops. Is that so wrong? They would not let it go.

I then decided to enjoy one more night of quiet luxury in the comfy hotel (bubble bath included) before I start slumming it in Thailand. I packed a month's worth of clothing into a large backpack and set a wake-up call for the ungodly hour of 4:30am.

China! Day 4

Day 4

We're up with the sun again at 6am. The train arrives in rainy Shanghai at 7:30am and we get a cab to the hotel. The concierge brings out our stored luggage and heads for the front door. Jim stops him: "Actually, we're checking back in. It's kind of unusual." At this point, there hasn't been a shower, change of clothes, or a real meal in 48 hours. Before we even go to our room, we each eat about 3 servings of breakfast. Hands down, we're the most disgusting people in the hotel. By 9:30am, I am stuffed and crawling into a comfy bed. Jim is going to the gym (crazy, I know). The nap feels great, but it does nothing to regulate my sleeping patterns. We leave the hotel and officially start the day around noonish.

We visited the Yuyuan Gardens and Bazaar, which looks like "traditional" China with pagado buildings, but I've read that it's more like a Disneyland version of China. Then we discovered an interesting place near the hotel, known only as 580 Nanjing Road. You wouldn't know what it is from the outside, but you're in a different world when you step inside. It has floor after floor and aisle after aisle of tiny shops selling knock-off goods. Think about the stands that sell fakes in NYC and then multiply this by about 1000. None of the "stores" have names - they're known only as 122/6F or 139/B2. It's like a maze. The stores all seem teeny-tiny, but then someone opens up a secret crawl space or leads you through a passagway of halls and halls of even more fake stuff. All negotiating is done by calculator. The salespeople grab your arm, block your way, chase you... anything to make a sale. I'm addressed only as "pretty girl want a bag?" and Jim is apparently a man in desperate need of a Rolex. The shoppers look completely worn out.

We then attempted to go out, but our timing/clocks are still off, and we're way too early to be "out" on a Saturday night. We went to Tongren Rd, another area in Shanghai known for nightlife. It was pretty empty and a lot of places weren't open yet. A woman assured us a particular bar was open and led us up an elevator. We were the only 2 people there, and the preponderance of poles suggested it may have been a house of ill repute. Jim wouldn't let us stay long enough to officially confirm this suspicion. We went to one other place on Tongren Rd and then went back to the Xintiandi area, which was much easier to find the second time around!

China! Day 3

Day 3

As I said, our guide Sunny was waiting for us at the train station. Knowing we were on the train all night, she led us to KFC for what she, god bless her, thought was a traditional American breakfast. China's KFC has none of the same options as America's KFC. It was insanely crowded. We ordered the last available chicken sandwich, an egg sandwich, and 2 coffees. The coffees were scalding hot and the sandwiches were slathered in mayo. Yum.

I thought I'd be able to make a quick change in the bathroom - new clothes, brush my teeth, splash some water on my face). Those tasks sound simple enough, but they were impossible to accomplish because everyone else in Beijing had the same idea. There are only 2 stalls in the women's' room and no semblance of a line. There are only 2 sinks for both men and women to share. There was a huge crowd around the sinks, including a man shaving his face. It seems perfectly acceptable to clear your throat and hock a loogie into the crowd. I'm obviously the outsider for being squeamish about this. I finally go back to our table. Jim reports that the men's room was so crowded that he didn't have the arm room required to change his shirt.

By this time, my coffee has cooled down, but someone has thrown my lid away and demands we get the day started. I take it to go, but quickly spill it all over my coat. Sunny comes to the rescue by reaching into her purse and pulling out a few squares of toilet paper I can use to clean up. Women in China are smart to carry their own supplies because you never know when you're going to run into a squatter toilet. The toilets aren't awful, but they often lack paper and the user must have a good sense of balance. It takes a little bit of maneuvering, especially on a day in which you have no extra clothing. Peeing on your pants will sentence you to a full day of walking around in pee-soaked pants.

With all this administrative business out of the way, we see what Beijing has to offer. I'm certainly no expert, but Beijing seemed more like "real" China and I enjoyed it much more than Shanghai. It has all the landmarks that come to mind when you think about China - Tiananmen Square, Imperial Palace, Great Wall...

Tiananmen Square and the Imperial Palace were unbelievably huge and you could easily spend a whole day exploring this place. The history is very interesting and I can't get over how old everything is. I think New Zealand was still under the ocean when this place was built. It seemed very crowded to me, but Sunny described it as a quiet morning. There were tons of Chinese tourists (think about Americans visiting DC). If you arrive on a tour bus, you have to wear a hat that matches the color of the flag your guide is carrying. Individualistic Americans would never do this.

By far, my favorite part of the day (and probably the whole trip) was our visit to the Great Wall of China. It's an amazing thing to see; someplace I never thought I would be. I thought it was packed wall-to-wall (pun intended), but Sunny again says it is not that crowded. Parts of the wall are very steep and it seems like your body is bent at a 45 degree angle. This is very trippy and disorienting when you're sleep-deprived. It was a hazy day, but it was still awesome to see the wall stretching into the hills as far as the eye can see. Jim and I both thought we were there for a decent amount of time - walking, admiring, etc. Sunny later says we spent the shortest amount of time at the wall than any of her other tours. Silly Americans.

We rounded out the day by visiting Olympic Park (huge), watching an acrobat show (I believe they performed at the opening ceremonies), and strolling along the Hou Hai Lake and Market area. We also walked through some back alleys with traditional Chinese homes. I notice that the tires of many parked cars were covered with squares of wood or corrugated metal (New Zealand's favorite building material). The explanation is that the covers protect the tires from dog pee. Go figure.

At Hou Hai Market, Sunny ran off to buy us a mystery snack. It looked like meatballs on a stick. Jim gets points for bravely taking the first bite. I get points for finishing the whole thing. It was a skewer of candied plums.

At 9pm (14 hours after our arrival), we are back at the Beijing Railway Station for an overnight ride back to Shanghai. Hard core! The station is packed and the atmosphere is kind of crazy. Hundreds of people rush to the platform when a train is called, yet there are still no empty seats in the waiting room. I can't figure this out.

On this leg of our journey, our roommates are much more quiet (climb right up to their top bunks) and the pillows are much less comfortable. This is a shame because I could really use a nice bed by this point. Jim fell asleep before the train pulled out of the station. I didn't know what my bunkmates were doing and didn't know how to communicate with them, so I left the light on in our cabin. It felt like only a few seconds later when I lift the sweater off my head to discover the lights are off. Jim later tells me he turned them off at midnight, so I must have got a few hours of shut-eye after all.