Love, Pacific Style

Wellington’s small size can make it too close for comfort. I recently ran into my online suitor GeOff. I did what any mature adult would do in this situation – crossed the street and pretended not to see him. How can one be expected to play the field when she keeps encountering the same players? The same “I play ice hockey in a country that lacks ice” players…

Regretfully, I’m beginning to believe the NZ man drought is a reality. This article provides an update on the man drought I alerted you to a few weeks ago. The young Kiwi male strikes back, complaining that Kiwi women are bossy, demanding, ball-breaking fatties. Stop being so picky! (I’d offer myself up as an exotic American alternative, but 3 of those 4 insults are often hurled at me.) Honestly, the young Kiwi male has nothing to whine about because New Zealand has the most promiscuous women in the world. To further support that claim, I present exhibit #1 – a stray brassiere I recently found on sidewalk. Maybe the Kiwis could learn something about romance from their neighbors across the Tasman. I hear the Aussies are getting along just fine! Review this article, then take the following reading comprehension quiz.

Oral sex is:
a) The new black
b) The new abstinence
c) Contraceptively advantageous
d) An inappropriate topic for a family newspaper
e) All of the above

Correct answer: E. The media here are much more open in covering topics that would be taboo in puritanical America. Can you imagine that prude Ted Koppel discussing America’s “sexual repertoire?” Gross – let’s leave it to Australia. The upside to all this “openness” is that I encounter plenty of nudity on network TV. Score!