Learn the Lingo! Lesson 5 - Field Trip

I recognize that people learn in different ways, so perhaps some readers would benefit from a more "hands on" approach to Kiwi English. Lesson 5 takes you out of the classroom and into the “real world.”

A bench appears on the front porch out of the clear blue sky. I place a phone call.

Me: There is a bench on the porch. Do you know where it came from?
Him: A what?
Me: A bench.
Him: A bench?
Me: That’s what I said. Do you know where it came from?
Him: No. What kind of bench?
Me: (getting frustrated) A wooden bench! It looks brand new.
Him: I have no idea what that’s all about.

In-person conversation a few hours later.

Him: Oh, there’s a seat on the porch!
Me: (frustrated again) Yeah…
Him: I thought you meant a bench, like a countertop. (One of us forgot that America calls elongated outdoor seating “benches,” and one of us forgot that NZ calls kitchen countertops “benches.”)
Me: So you spent all day thinking there was a wooden countertop on the porch?
Him: Well, that’s why I was so confused.