Low Expectations

I have a much deeper appreciation for Flight of the Conchords (watch clip below) after spending 5 months in New Zealand. "Don't expect much... you'll love it." Couldn't have said it better myself!

For example, a number of people told me that I simply must take a day trip to the town of Eastbourne. They described it as a charming little village on the water with lots of cute shops and cafes. On my first attempt to find Eastbourne, I literally drove right past it. I thought to myself: "Surely, this can't be what everyone was talking about." Well, it was. The "town" consists of one block. This picture shows about half of it. I can't fathom how anyone could spend more than 2 hours here, and that includes a 1 hour lunch.

I've learned to take everything with a grain of salt, so I didn't put much stock in the Kiwis' claim that Wellington's suburbs contained a shopping mall, "like what you're used to in America." I've seen what is called a "mall" in Wellington. Believe me, American consumers, it is no mall. So when I finally took a trip to the Queensgate Shopping Center, it was primarily for laughs. To my complete shock, I have to admit that it is an honest-to-goodness mall that could rival any mid-size mall in the US. It surely trumps the Schuylkill Mall. New Zealand surprises me in funny ways sometimes!

At first, I didn't exactly understand why Kiwis described the US as "massive" or having "cool stuff" or "so busy." I'm starting to get it now. It's not like the US has products or gadgets that New Zealand doesn't (except decent deodorant), but everything is on a much smaller scale. All the towns have corner dairies and teeny little stores with painted wooden signs. Many restaurants seat 30 people maximum. It's quaint and charming like a Norman Rockwell painting... until the novelty wears off. There is no suburban sprawl in this country, no giant parking lots, no chain restaurants, no expressways. I'm not saying that is a bad thing, but it is a giant difference. I can understand how a Kiwi would be in awe by walking into a Target (man, do I miss Target). New Zealand's answer to Target and Wal-Mart is "The Warehouse... where everyone gets a bargain" (catchy jingle). It's smaller and more budget than a Wal-Mart (think Ames), but it is a convenient one-stop-shopping destination.

I found myself a ways out of Wellington last night. I knew going to the "barbecue restaurant" was a bad idea, but I had no choice because I was hungry and it was the only place open at the late hour of 7pm. (Welly is awesome, but I have grave concerns about my ability to survive small-town New Zealand in my travels over the next few months). The meal was overpriced and truly awful. Inedible awful. Unfortunately for my dinner companion, this put me in a very foul mood. Just when I was ready to denounce all things Kiwi, they reeled my back in. Upon paying for dinner, we were presented with a proper full-size Christmas card that had been personally signed by every member of the waitstaff and contained a coupon for our next visit. There will be no next visit, but that little bit of Kiwi kindness turned my frown upside down.