Buckle Up!

I'm doing like the Kiwis and taking a step back in time. Dawn and I are now the proud owners of a 1990 Honda Integra hatchback. Livin' large in New Zealand!! Please say a little prayer that a) this car does not blow up; and b) I do not wreck it. Forget base jumping off the Sky Tower -- driving this car is by far the most frightening thing I have ever done. I break out into a cold sweat behind the wheel. Consider the following:

1. Kiwi drivers are Crazy McSpeed DemoNZ. Motorcycles are allowed to drive between lanes and pop in and out as they please. The bus we rode to pick up our car hit a bicyclist. No joke.

2. I have no freakin' clue where I am or where I'm going.

3. The roads are treacherous and full of blind turns. Take a millisecond to sneeze and you'll likely drive off a cliff. The 2 lane roads in our Hataitai neighborhood are not nearly wide enough to accommodate 2 cars.

4. It is completely disorienting to drive from the right side of the car. My whole center of gravity is thrown off. It's like trying to write with your left hand. You know what to do, but you just. can't. do. it. I want to use my right hand to shift gears, but there is nothing there. I look up and to the right to check my rearview mirror, but there is nothing there. The positions of the windshield wipers and turn signal are reversed. Hilarity ensues.

5. It is very possible that I will drive on the wrong side of the road. Every little move requires advance planning and intense concentration.

6. NZ road rules baffle me. You drive on the left side of the road, but a car turning right always has the right of way. I'm told this law tricks even the Brits. I couldn't even visualize the situation until I was smack dab in the middle of it. Someone started honking. Suffice it to say the correct move is the exact opposite of what you would do in the US. Keep in mind that I could barely follow the road rules of my own country. Did you know that blowing past a stopped school bus in New York state will put enough points on your license to make you waste an entire Saturday in a defensive driving class? Stupid school kids.

7. A round white sign with a black slash mark means the speed limit is 100km/hr. Totally intuitive, right?? A sign with the number 100 might be confusing.

Old habits die hard. For our safety, distracting side conversations and music are currently banned from the Integra. I'm hopeful this rule will eventually change. This gives you plenty of time to make me a mix tape. My new ride has a sweet cassette player!

Hot Rod

Scared Stiff

There's totally enough room to sleep in this thing!